Iran’s Phantom Menace

Exclusive: For years, a propaganda drumbeat has been rising to justify a war to stop Iran from building a nuclear bomb, though U.S. intelligence agencies say Iran isn’t building one and Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei has decried nukes as a “great sin.” But nothing has stopped the drumbeat, ex-CIA analyst Ray McGovern notes.

By Ray McGovern

Last Thursday, I took part in a panel discussion on “Targeting Iran: Sanctions and War” at California State University, Fresno. The panel discussion took place against the backdrop of all-too-familiar warnings to Iran that it has one “last chance” to stop doing what the CIA and pretty much all serious intelligence agencies say it is not doing — namely, working on a nuclear weapon.

That’s right; one “last chance” to stop doing what it is NOT doing. This unconscionably surreal — and transparently provocative — demand threatened to cast an unrelenting pall over the event, so I made a lame attempt to inject some light humor in order to head off confusion and despair.

Scene from "Porgy and Bess" on Broadway

Since the West’s rhetoric about Iran virtually cries out for parody — not to mention correction — I decided to begin my short presentation with an adaptation of “It Ain’t Necessarily So” from Porgy and Bess.

First, I needed to expose non-Gershwin fans to the song’s tune and cadence, so I began with one of the original verses and asked the audience to sing along. (You may wish to do likewise):

Oh Jonah he lived in de whale,

Oh Jonah he lived in de whale.

Fo’ he made his home in

Dat fish’s abdomen,

Oh Jonah he lived in de whale.

Well, it ain’t necessarily so;

Well, it ain’t necessarily so.

Fo’ he made his home in          

Dat fish’s abdomen,

But that ain’t necessarily so.

After that warm-up came the unveiling of three Iran-related verses composed earlier that day during the long drive from the Bay area to Fresno. (Please do sing along):

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

To claim he is mad is the fad.

He said he would zap

Israel right off the map;

Mahmoud is a cad of a lad.

Well, it ain’t necessarily so;

Well, it ain’t necessarily so.

He said he would zap

Israel right off the map;

But that ain’t necessarily so.

Israelis they sound the alarm,

The Persians are building the bomb.

But they ain’t the kooks

That do lust after nukes,

So sit back, and try to be calm.

Well, it ain’t necessarily so;

Well, it ain’t necessarily so.

Persians ain’t the kooks

That do lust after nukes.

No, that ain’t necessarily so.

Now Obama he tries to seem tough;

He huff and he puff; he don’t bluff,

In hopes Netanyahu

Will stop and shout Yahoo!

And turn all his threats into fluff.

Well, it ain’t necessarily so;

Well, it ain’t necessarily so.

In hopes Netanyahu

Will stop and shout Yahoo!

That ain’t in the cards, Barry O.

Readers are invited to submit additional verses using the abundant supply of rhetoric eminently susceptible of parody (and/or of straight-out, factual contradiction).

And by all means keep smiling, at least for the time being; it looks as if Israel and its neocon cheerleaders in the United States are likely to put off the next war of aggression, at least until after the next round of negotiations between the West and Iran scheduled for May 23 in Baghdad. Who knows? Sanity may yet prevail.

Ray McGovern works with Tell the Word, a publishing arm of the ecumenical Church of the Saviour in inner-city Washington. He was an intelligence analyst for the Army and CIA for 30 years. He is now making extraordinary steps to maintain his sanity as he watches the U.S.-Israel-Iran imbroglio unfold, as though from a script by George Orwell.

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7 comments on “Iran’s Phantom Menace

  1. spktruth200 on said:

    Ray McGovern is a hero of the american people. From everything I read the american people will not support another war. It doesnt mean that Israel won’t provoke one and drag the US into it. That would be a disaster.

    • paki wieland on said:

      I love this Ray!
      Thanks for your enduring humor and knowledge of the finer lyrics!
      Big hug, Paki

  2. rosemerry on said:

    The latest meeting shows israel’s ill will. They are furious that the Iran plus five plus Germany meeting went well. How dare anyone try to avoid war!

  3. John Puma on said:

    “Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei has decried nukes as a ‘great sin’.”

    Apparently, the only American “great sin” is to fail to be 1) planning a war or wars 2) fighting a war or wars 3) both 2) & 3).

  4. Gregory L Kruse on said:

    My feeling is that the tide is turning against the neocon Israeli’s, but I could be living in the belly of a whale.

  5. clarence swinney on said:

    End Of Empire?
    HOW CONSERVATIVES DESTROYED AMERICA
    Ruined our great Savings and Loan Industry
    Closed Fairness Doctrine that has allowed Mush Dimbaugh types on our public airwaves
    Closed Revenue Sharing
    Since 1980, initiated our involvement in 10 foreign conflicts
    Repealed Glass Steagall—took deposits in 7000 banks and put 80% in (10) Too Big To Fail
    Modernization of Commodities Market—from Investment to Casino Derivative Of America
    2 very dumb invasions of two of most poor -most unarmed nations on earth=OIL OIL OIL
    Ruined our International Reputation as a Do Good Christian nation to Big Bully Devil.
    Stood by as Freak Marketeers ruined our Housing Industry.
    Stood by as Casino Derivative of America ruined the World Financial Industry.
    Impeached a Great President for petty political gains that created long term animosity between two parties.
    Attempted to destroy Safety Nets that make America great middle class
    Implemented Tax Codes that permitted redistribution of Wealth to top (10%) who now own (73%) of all Net Wealth and (83%) of all Financial Wealth and take home (50%) of all individual income.
    Today, they have taken America to ranking in oecd nations as (# 2) as Least Taxed—(# 2) as least taxed corporations and horror horror (# 4) on Inequality from bottom 5 in 1980.
    Since 1980, their Spend & Borrow policies are, mainly, responsible for adding 14,000 Billion to a 1000 Billion debt
    Fought the great GI Bill.
    Fought the WWII Draft
    Installed strict laws which created 57 % of prison inmates on Marijuana use charges which make us lead the world in prison population.
    Refuse to control the drug Beer.
    There are many many more baddies.
    CONCLUSION:::: WANT TO SEE END OF AN EMPIRE YIELD CONTROL TO
    REPUBLICAN CONSERVATIVES AS WAS DONE IN 2001-2002-2003-2004-2005-2006.
    SIX OF WORST YEARS IN OUR HISTORY. IMAGINE IF THEY HAD 12 YEARS???

  6. Watch Julian Assange interviewing Hassan Nasarullah of Hizbullah on rt.com